Many of us have gone through this, whether it’s being the new person at school or joining a club. And the same goes for work. The new person is usually “tested” by the existing people to see how much the newbie will put up with.
Unfortunately, when I joined my first ship I was a bit of a pushover and got caught up in making sure everyone liked me. This meant I dropped my standards and my morals to try and be more “easy going” in hopes that this would lead me to make more friends.
I did make a lot of friends but I now know that wasn’t down to me being a pushover, its because I’m a decent human being. Me making those sacrifices it didn’t make them like me more, it made them respect me less. This was a lesson I learnt the hard way but one of the best life lessons I could have asked for.
Knowing I was fresh from training the spa girls knew I would put trust in them to guide me through this process, just as they did when they were just starting.
However, I was maybe a bit too trusting.
There were a few times that I was made to stay late, or start early, or swap treatment clients with people with no other reason other than “because you’re new”.
I never said anything because I didn’t want to risk causing tension or conflict with the people I have to spend every day with for the next 9 months. On reflection, I would have been doing everyone a favour if I had just said my piece.
Also, I didn’t thoroughly read my contract. Which meant I didn’t know what was allowed, not allowed or expected of me. It makes me cringe, I can’t believe I was that stupid to sign something without reading it but, you live and learn.
Not really knowing the dynamics of ship life you just take people’s word for things. Like when they said at the end of every day you have to clean all the shelves in the spa, I did it. Why wouldn’t i. However after my 3rd day when I realised they all left at 8 and I at 8:30, I did begin to wonder…
Things like being that last person to be booked for treatments, always being sent to wonder the ship and promote the spa, having to get to the spa earlier to turn things on and swaping time off with people were all things I did because, I was still getting the feel for everything and I trusted that they were telling me to do these things because it was part of my job discription, not just so they could get out of doing it. .
I personally think everyone should expect to be pushed a little when first starting anything but, there are limits. Its up to you to set those limits. So, its important to know what is and isn’t allowed so you can know when someone is just testing you or asking something valid of you. Learn from my mistake and read your contracts!